Parallel Parenting with a Narcissist

Why Coparenting with a Narcissist is a Fantasy

For many divorced or separated parents, coparenting with a narcissistic coparent is a fantasy that is simply not possible. Narcissistic coparents tend to inundate the other parent with numerous messages all at once, constantly attack their character, and have an agenda that is anything other than the children. As a result, many parents choose to parallel parent in an effort to reduce conflict and preserve their sanity.

What is Parallel Parenting?

Parallel parenting involves each parent having their own set of responsibilities and making decisions for their children independently, without direct communication or cooperation between the parents. This approach can help minimize conflict and create a more stable environment for the children.

Tips for Parallel Parenting with a Narcissist

If you’re parallel parenting with a narcissistic coparent, here are some tips to keep in mind:

• Keep communication to a minimum: The less you have to communicate with the narcissist, the better. Try to limit your interactions to only the most necessary topics regarding your children. Avoid engaging in any conversations that may lead to arguments or confrontation.

• Use a neutral tone: When communicating with the narcissist, try to maintain a neutral and matter-of-fact tone. Avoid expressing emotions or reacting to any provocation from the narcissist. Stick to the facts and keep the conversation focused on the children’s needs.

• Set clear boundaries: It’s important to establish clear boundaries with the narcissist to avoid any manipulation or control. Let them know what you expect from them in terms of communication and behavior, and stick to your own boundaries, as well.

• Document everything: Keep a detailed record of all communication and interactions with the narcissist, including emails, text messages, and phone calls. This can be helpful in case of any legal issues that may arise.

• Seek support: It can be challenging to parallel parent with a narcissist, and it’s important to have a support system in place. Consider joining a support group for parents dealing with narcissistic ex-partners, or seek the help of a qualified therapist who can provide guidance and support.

By following these tips, you can create a more stable environment for your children and reduce the negative impact of coparenting with a narcissist. Remember, it’s important to prioritize your children’s well-being and mental health during this challenging time.