Therapy for Infidelity Trauma

You Can’t Wake up – This Isn’t a Dream

It plays over and over in your head, all the details you know and the ones you don’t. Your world feels shattered, like you’ve experienced some secret earthquake that no one else seems to understand.

It hurts like hell and nothing makes you feel better.

You can’t stomach the thought of food, barely sleep, and wake up every hour soaking wet from nightmares and panic attacks when you do sleep. And the nightmares are always the same.

Feeling Deceived and Betrayed

“He’s been gone for about a month. I thought I knew him so well. Now I realize I knew nothing. I lay in bed and cry most of the time. Every memory I have involves him. I feel humiliated.”

“All the work trips, I never questioned a thing. I feel so stupid. I completely trusted him. We’ve been together 12 years. I don’t know what’s real anymore. I’m devastated.”

“They were friends in high school and started messaging each other sometime last year. She said they have a ‘connection.’ What do I do with that?”

“I showed up at her job to surprise her and caught her hugging her coworker outside. She denied that anything was going on and got mad at me for ‘spying’ on her. I checked the cell phone bill and found hundreds of calls between them. I just feel gutted.”

The World as You Knew It Stopped

Things weren’t supposed to turn out like this – so many lies. Every day feels like the longest day of your life, and the loneliness aches.

You go to work and try to smile, but you’re crying inside and feel ripped apart by betrayal.

You thought you knew each other so well. Now you’re questioning every moment of your life together and your entire purpose. The pain is unbearable.

The Pain of Infidelity

“I can’t seem to turn off my mind. I keep going over dates of his whereabouts and trying to make sense of it. Everything I see and hear reminds me of what he did and even our good memories are now painful.”

“I don’t know who I am anymore and nothing gives me comfort. He was the one person in the world I trusted would have my back, and he threw it all away so easily.”

“I’m so emotionally drained. Yesterday, I curled up next to our baby girl while she slept just to try to feel something different. It’s so hard to feel anything but the hurt.”

“She said she’s sorry and wants to make things work, but I don’t trust her anymore. I actually don’t know how I could ever trust anyone again.”

“She rewrote the history of our entire relationship to justify her affair and told me that I’m also to blame. I logically know that I’m not responsible for her choices but still keep wondering what I could have done for her to cheat. My self-esteem feels shredded.”

Where Do You Go From Here?

Your mind is a jumble of numbness mixed with anger and sadness that you never knew existed. You feel disorientated and confused about your options. How do you move forward when you don’t even know how to breathe anymore?

“I keep buying all of these affair books to figure out what the hell happened. How could he do this to us? How could I be treated worse than a stranger?”

“My aunt told me I need to ‘beg’ her to take me back–I didn’t do anything wrong!”

“He said he loves me and that he ‘messed up.’ This isn’t like forgetting to pay a bill. What does that even mean?”

Infidelity Wasn’t Your Fault

You didn’t sign up for this – you deserved better than betrayal. Yet, here you are, suddenly faced with having to deal with things you once thought unimaginable.

“I thought we had a great life. It wasn’t perfect, but I thought we were perfect for each other. Then, he started acting oddly distant so I asked him if something was wrong. He sat me down and told me that he didn’t feel like I really knew him. He gave a bunch of petty examples, like me buying the wrong hot sauce.”

“He became irritable and nit-picky about everything I said and did. We went to a couple of counseling sessions before he left. Then, he went around and told people lies about me and said ‘Counseling didn’t work.’”

“We have kids together and she won’t even talk to me. I know this sounds terrible, but I wish she would’ve died. At least then I could openly grieve. It feels like a death.”

Getting Help Is Critical

What you’ve gone through is traumatic. Talking with friends and family is great but will only get you so far. Some will give you advice and some will lecture you. There may even come a point where they don’t seem to want to hear about it anymore.

“My mom was the worst. I know she meant well, but she just kept putting him down. I knew what he did was wrong, but it just didn’t help because I still cared about him. I realize that doesn’t make sense, but I couldn’t shut my feelings off. We had a life together. Therapy helped me feel like I had a direction and all that time wasn’t just a waste.”

“I felt lost. I started messing up at work and my boss suggested I talk to someone. I never went to counseling before, but it was the best thing I could have done. I was beating myself up and couldn’t go on like that anymore.”

Reach Out Now

You didn’t have a choice in what happened to you, but you can choose how to move forward.

It’s time to focus on you by working with someone who specializes in treating infidelity trauma so that you can come out on the other side of this pain and build an amazing life you deserve.

Call me at (720) 845-6600 or email drjodiebenabe@somethingwildwellness.com to schedule a free 20-minute consultation.