Therapy for High-Achieving and Professional Women

Focused on Everyone Else

You keep giving and giving. You just can’t say no, in your career, relationships, or with family.

It’s like you’re trying to prove something to yourself.

It feels like you have to do it all, and there’s nothing left over for you at the end of the day.

You’re so used to doing everything you think others want, so used to pleasing everyone else.

You don’t even know what you want or need anymore.

You’re Secretly a Mess

You have all these ideas of how you’d ideally like to be and what you’d like to accomplish but it all feels so impossible.

Each day feels like it goes by so fast and you’re just spinning your wheels, stuck.

Unhealthy beliefs and patterns keep you from realizing your full potential and can show up as struggles with low self-esteem, perfectionism, relationship codependency, anxiety, and depressed mood.

Low-Self-Esteem

You lack confidence and don’t recognize your strengths. It doesn’t feel like you’re deserving or capable of having more, even though you work your butt off. You feel guilty speaking up and taking up space, and are worried about what others will think of you.

“I hate saying ‘No’ to people. I can have a ton of my own things to do but will still agree to do something I don’t want to do just to keep others from thinking badly about me.”

“I think that other people are better than me for some reason. And when someone says something negative about me, I can’t seem to shake it and feel so stupid. It keeps me from speaking up, even when I have something to say.”

“It’s like I need recognition from others to feel good about myself, but also sometimes don’t like attention and don’t believe it when people give me compliments. I criticize myself a lot.”

“It’s hard for me to let things go. I over-think everything and replay what someone said and how they said it, convinced that they’re finding fault with me.”

Perfectionism

You can’t stand making mistakes and strive to be the best in all you do. You desperately crave approval from others and have a hard time taking feedback. Afraid of failure, you procrastinate on tasks and then get stressed out when you’re behind on deadlines.

“I procrastinate a lot and it takes forever to accomplish things. I guess I’m afraid of failure or looking bad. I put off starting harder things until I have the time to do them well. But then I just feel anxious that I haven’t done them yet and worry that people will see me as lazy if I’m too late. So then I ended up putting them off even more. I’m such a train wreck.”

“My family jokes that I’m too picky. I just get frustrated when it seems like there’s a right way to do something and people want to do it differently. It doesn’t make sense.”

“I don’t like making mistakes and have a lot of trouble making decisions. And then when I decide something, I repeatedly question my choice and wonder if it was right. I doubt myself all the time.”

“It’s hard for me to relax unless I’ve done what I need to do. And even then, my mind is already thinking about tomorrow.”

Codependency in Relationships

It’s difficult for you to know where someone else ends and you begin. Fearful of abandonment, you prioritize the needs of others in relationships and feel obligated to take care of them. You lack trust in your own judgment, and it’s difficult for you to identify your own thoughts and feelings independent of another.

“I know I’m too much of a people pleaser. I want everyone to like me, even people that I really don’t like. I feel terrible if I’m not invited out and think there must be something wrong with me.”

“My dad was an alcoholic, and I saw my mom compensate for him for years. She’s doing much better now, but I’m repeating her behavior in relationships. It’s like I feel compelled to take care of someone, even at the expense of my happiness.”

“I feel deeply hurt when my partner disagrees with me or dislikes something I’ve done. I take it personally and then it doesn’t feel safe in our relationship.”

“I can’t take it when I text someone and they don’t get back to me or I don’t hear from someone I’m dating near hourly. My friends joke that I become a ‘stage-5 clinger’ and it scares people away.”

“My boyfriend cheated on me a few times. We’re still together but I resent the hell out of him. I won’t break up because I’m too afraid to be alone.”

Anxiety and Depression

Insecurity and self-doubt keep you stuck in your head and negatively impact your mood. You worry about the impact of your choices and fall short when you compare yourself to others. It feels like you’re not good enough at your core and your negative thoughts sabotage you.

“I always feel like I’m waiting to mess up. I started having panic attacks last year randomly, but now I realize they seem to happen in situations where I think people will judge me negatively.”

“I compare myself to others a lot and then I don’t do things I need to do to better myself because I think there’s no way in hell that I can be as good.”

“I don’t make eye contact when I’m talking. I gave a presentation, and the feedback was that I went too fast. I hate public speaking because it’s hard for me to control what I say. It’s like everything goes black and all I can focus on is how my face is hot and must be red, and that my heart is pounding. I’m afraid people will criticize me.”

“I figure if I don’t put myself out there, then I won’t get hurt. I basically just end up not trying and feel worthless.”

“I went through this phase where I’d just buy whatever I wanted. I rang up a ton of credit card debt and now it’s really stressful because I have no way of buying anything else and don’t know how I will pay it all back.”

What’s Holding You Back?

Being a woman is hard for so many reasons.

There are all these conflicting messages about how women and girls are supposed to be.

We learn to suppress our voices so that we don’t come across as too much, high maintenance, needy, too smart, bitchy, etc.

We second-guess ourselves and let fear keep us small.

We feel guilt and shame based on unrealistic expectations, trauma, and marginalization that we’ve internalized.

We become disempowered and disconnected from our own truth and wisdom.

Girl, Get Out of Your Own Way

Playing it safe and shrinking for others will keep you from living your dreams, and it’s the surest path to regret.

By discovering how and why you’re stuck, you can learn to overcome obstacles and be successful using strengths you may not even realize you have right now.

Call me at (720) 845-6600 or email drjodiebenabe@somethingwildwellness.com to discuss how you can get out of your own way and learn to live an empowered life!