’Tis the Season… for Infidelity? And Narcissistic Drama? And High-Conflict Divorce?

There are a few things that predictably spike this time of year:

Traffic. Carbs. Holiday playlists you didn’t ask for.
And—for far too many people—relationship chaos that hits like a freight train.

Every winter, therapists, attorneys, and anyone who supports survivors of betrayal trauma quietly notice the same thing:
More affairs being exposed.
More narcissistic blowups.
More high-conflict co-parenting meltdowns.
More “I can’t believe this is happening right now” messages at 1:42 a.m.

So yes, while everyone else is arranging charcuterie boards and pretending their family behaves, you may be dealing with betrayal, manipulation, and legal stress that could power a small city.

Let’s talk about it.

Why the Holidays Make Narcissistic and High-Conflict Partners Even Worse

The holiday season puts pressure on everyone—but narcissists and high-conflict exes treat that pressure like jet fuel.

Here’s why:

They crave admiration, and the holidays give them a stage. But they also get enraged if they’re not the star of every gathering.
They hate responsibility, and the holidays demand effort, coordination, and emotional labor—so they lash out or check out.
They love chaos, and the holiday schedule gives them a million opportunities to stir the pot.
They can’t tolerate being anything less than adored, so if you’re tired, distracted, or setting boundaries? They seek validation elsewhere.
They rewrite history in real time, so expect “you ruined the holiday” narratives even when you were the only adult holding the whole thing together.

If you’re navigating a high-conflict divorce or co-parenting with someone narcissistic, the holidays aren’t “merry and bright.”
They’re a custody chess match, a boundary battle, and an emotional endurance test.

Infidelity Isn’t Caused by the Holidays—But the Holidays Reveal Everything

Let’s be clear:
Infidelity is never your fault.
It’s not because of holiday stress.
It’s not because of unmet needs.
It’s not because “things were tense.”
It’s because someone chose entitlement, deceit, and self-gratification over integrity.

But the holidays make it harder for the façade to hold.

Schedules change → lies don’t line up.
Phones are out more → messages get seen.
Travel happens → inconsistencies explode.
Family gatherings highlight disconnect → you notice what you didn’t want to see.
Co-parenting with a narcissistic ex → their jealousy and rage flare, and they escalate.

This isn’t “the cheating season.”
It’s the season where truth has fewer places to hide.

The Holiday Meltdown Cycle of Narcissistic Partners

If you’ve ever spent the holidays with a narcissistic partner, you know the cycle:

Idealize the season (“This year will be perfect.”)
Expect everyone to arrange their lives around them
Get irritated when reality doesn’t match the fantasy
Blame you (obviously 🙄)
Pick a fight / disappear / sabotage
Seek admiration somewhere else
Rewrite history (“You were cold and didn’t make me feel appreciated.”)

It’s not the holidays.
It’s the emotional maturity of a toddler with better vocabulary.

Why High-Conflict Exes Become Even More Unhinged Now

If you’re post-separation or divorced from someone high-conflict, you already know:

The holidays are their Super Bowl of Sabotage.

You may see:

Sudden schedule changes
Last-minute cancellations
Refusals to share basic information
Manipulation around gifts
Interference with your parenting time
Guilt trips
Triangulation with the kids
“Emergency” communications that are anything but

And if you’re rebuilding your life or—heaven forbid—looking happier?
They often escalate. Not because you’re doing anything wrong.
Because your healing threatens their control.

The Relationship Audit Season… With a Twist

December and January naturally make people reflect on their lives.
But narcissistic or high-conflict partners treat this season like a chance to:

Reinvent themselves as the victim
Craft a revisionist history
Seek attention boosts
Start “new beginnings” that discard accountability
Or weaponize the holidays to destabilize everyone around them

Their “reflecting” is not about growth.
It’s about image.

Why You Might Be Finding Out Now

People often discover betrayal during the holidays because:

Secrets get harder to juggle
Emotional distance becomes obvious
You’re around family who asks real questions
Their behavior becomes erratic
Or you finally have a moment of quiet to feel what’s been off

Sometimes, when the world slows down, your intuition gets louder.

And that’s not a failure—that’s clarity.

If This Is Your Reality This Season

You’re not too much.
You’re not dramatic.
You’re not “ruining the holidays.”
You’re responding like any human would respond to shock, betrayal, or psychological warfare.

You deserve:

Stability
Safety
Emotional support
And a community that understands the kind of chaos you could never explain to your coworkers

Your life doesn’t end here.
This moment is not the whole story.

’Tis the season for lights, warmth, and reflection—but not for carrying someone else’s chaos, betrayal, or emotional volatility. If this time of year has pulled the curtain back on infidelity, narcissistic abuse, or the unpredictable roller coaster of a high-conflict divorce, you’re not imagining it. The holidays have a way of exposing the truth that’s been there all along.

And you don’t have to navigate that truth alone.

If You’re Reading This and Nodding…

If you’re thinking, “Yep… this is exactly what my December looks like,” you’re not alone. Holiday chaos has a way of exposing every crack a narcissistic partner or high-conflict ex has been papering over.
But you don’t have to navigate the fallout alone—or keep trying to “cope” with someone else’s emotional tornado.

If you’re dealing with the fallout of a high-conflict separation, ongoing co-parenting drama, or the emotional exhaustion of a narcissistic partner or ex, you don’t have to navigate it alone. I offer a High-Conflict Divorce Support Group in Boulder—also available statewide through Colorado telehealth—specifically designed for people facing narcissistic abuse, post-separation conflict, and the relentless stress of high-conflict co-parenting.

This group gives you a trauma-informed space to connect with others who understand the same patterns, the same manipulations, and the same “how is this my life?” moments. You’ll get grounded strategies, real community support, and a steady anchor as you rebuild your life on your own terms.

Because you deserve a season—and a future—where you’re not bracing for someone else’s behavior.

You can schedule a free 20-minute consultation here: https://drjodie.clientsecure.me